craft, Doll, pullip, Uncategorized

My hands and Edna

It’s much easier for me to be inspired to write about what I’m currently working on than to write about what I have finished.

“I never look back, it distracts from the NOW”– Edna Mode.

But there is so much I have made while not writing that I’d like to figure out a way to harness the excitement of the now to that which has passed.

So, let’s try this. We’ll got on the journey of my day or my current endeavors and then endcap it all with at least one finished project. Perhaps the two things will relate…perhaps they won’t.

Today

It’s summer vacation but I had some school-related work today.

This week I go to Jr High schools in the mornings to assist students with English speech contest practice. Today turned out to be a light work-load. We worked with one student in the morning until 9:20 and then had to wait for a second student at 11AM. Between these time slots the English teacher I worked with and I made sample recordings of me reading various speeches for students to use for practicing.

Recording didn’t take long. The English teacher I was working with and I sat and talked until 11AM.

We ended up talking a bit about ADHD. I disclosed I had it and she, having read up on it a lot, had asked questions to try to understand why some of her students with ADHD DO the things they do…one example was a student who tries to cut their nails with craft scissors while class is in session. Which made PERFECT sense to my mind.

Like people on the autism spectrum, folks with ADHD often stim. Stimming is any repetitive actions that help a person self-stimulate their senses: auditory, visual, tactile, and even olfactory. Stimming behaviors relieve boredom/anxiety or distract from pain / discomfort while also burning off excess energy.

The urge to stim is NOT going to go away with a teacher or parent telling a child to stop the behavior. The underlying anxiety, boredom pain or discomfort that is triggering the need to stim hasn’t gone away. Stopping the coping mechanism may actually elevate the anxiety. Even if it doesn’t, the absence of the stimming will make the underlying discomfort hit even harder.

I’ve always fidgeted with my hands. It wasn’t strange for me, from elementary school through high school, to have art projects WITH me at my desk. Finger knitting. Origami. Drawing. Filing hard wax rings for lost wax casting. Building wax figures. Using needle nose pliers to manipulate wire into 3-d objects.

Really.

Because of the specific public schools I went to this the reaction to this varied. I was occasionally seen as a problem in elementary school (depending on the teacher), it helped mark me as a bad student all through middle school, and was tolerated in high school because I could quickly demonstrate my understanding of the class topic when challenged…and my high school cared about art. It wasn’t an issue in college because I went to an art school where I was either making things or taking liberal arts classes I had a genuine interest in.

My schools were NOT Japanese schools

I know how strict Japanese schools are about students not having objects unrelated to class out on desks or in hands. I’ve seen how quickly stimming that bothers others (humming, tapping the desk, clicking pens) gets shut down (although that’s the same in America). Often students only have the option of stimming with hands, bodies (quietly) or staring at a particular object or thing in motion.

So what’s with the cutting nails in class?

Take my hands. I didn’t need to be told to frequently massage my surgery scar to help break up the scar tissue and aid in mobility. That scar is on my hand and I can feel it

To stim I tend mindlessly rub the pad of my thumbs over the fingertips and nails of the same hand. If my hands and fingernails are smooth, no hangnails or scabs or jagged nails or chipping nail polish, it’s possible to focus on something else while my fingers and hands do what they need to do. When that smooth surface is compromised OH BOY.

The interruption of my hand movements by an unfamiliar or unpleasant sensation can quickly change my stimming to an intense fixation. That jagged nail is now the center of my world.

ADHD people are not deficient in attention. We’ve got SO MUCH energy to pour at things. We have a deficit in the ability to regulate where and how our attention is focused.

A jagged nail interrupts the motion that was alleviating my anxiety/boredom ( and allowing me to focus on the task I needed to tend to). As that stim is removed, and the underlying mental noise pours in, that jagged nail presents as the thing to intensely fixate on. If I didn’t have ADHD I could simply note that I’ll have to clip my nails later….but I have ADHD. I can’t quickly and quietly regulate my focus back onto the task at hand.

Now that I’m on Strattera (a selective norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor that helps me with my dopamine levels) I can better recognize that I an fixating on something and work at how to redirect that focus.

Even on Straterra I sometimes will not be able to refocus without first removing/dealing with the new fixation issue. I might automatically surreptitiously try and rip that jagged edge with a fingernail. During a dull meeting I WILL have to fight the urge to dip my hand into my desk and grab some scissors even though I know how socially unacceptable it is and how ineffective a tool craft scissors are for the task.

I’m an adult on medication. The average neurotypical child is going to have a worse time fighting impulses. The average child with ADHD? Even one on medication (which is hard being dosages and medication have to be adjusted as they grow) that is helping with the larger issues will have a very VERY difficult time refocusing until the fixation is eliminated.

And that’s why the craft scissors are out, in class, going for that nail. That child knows that until the issue is dealt with they will be emotionally and physically unable to do anything else. They might also know they’ll be in trouble but that won’t stop them, it’ll simply make them try and hide it…and they’ll feel like a failure if they are caught and chastized. Knowing the consequences isn’t enough to stop all impulses.

That’s why.

That’s my dance everyday. The tango of temptations with an ever changing irregular rhythm of regulation thrumming under it all.

Finished Project:

Little Pullip to Edna Mode.

If you can’t link Edna Mode to the speaking habits, intense focus, delight in a new challenge and ever gesticulating personality of someone with Impulsive/Hyperactive type of ADHD…that is on YOU.

The basics

removed wig and makeup
replaced stock Little Pullip body with a more posable 11cm Obitsu body.
scultpted onto face with apoxie scupt.
repainted face
Doll wig from Parabox.
Shrinky-dink glasses
sewed outfit with black cloth, black ribbon, and pink ribbon.
bought tiny tights and shoes from Azone.
enjoyed.

Simple, elegant, yet BOLD

Doll, pullip, Uncategorized

This doll has EVERYTHING

After a long delay I finished taking a used TaeYang and remaking it into Bill Hader’s SNL character Stefon.

Why? Because it brings me joy.

Here’s the before and after on the face.

I wrote about and photographed the process in more details here, February of 2020.

What you’re seeing above is:

removal of paint and wig
carving into and sanding the face to change the features/shapes
opening up the head and inserting new eye chips.
painting the face (actually drawing chalk pastels and watercolor pencils…I still differentiate dry and wet media work from when I was a drawing, not painting, major)
creating a custom wig cap and then making a wig out of brushed acrylic yarn
Sculpting some rings with apoxie sculpt.

Over winter break I was trying to rest my left hand, hoping that buddy-taping and resting my injured finger could heal every thing and I wouldn’t need surgery. Spoiler: it didn’t.

My plan was no knitting, limited sewing, no small dolls (that I’d have to hold in my left hand, only large enough dolls I could rest on a surface while working on….and I made Stefon his iconic shirt because most of that was painting with my dominant hand.

I already had stretch white fabric from making Powerpuff Girl tights. I found the right shade of green fabric in the form of a kid’s tank top at a used clothing shop for 100¥.

After sewing the shirt I used a combination of acrylic paints and ink to make a simplified version of the Ed Hardy shirt Stefon wears. I used a photo of the original shirt for reference. The SLN version has removed the Ed Hardy logo, so I didn’t include it either.

I dressed him in a pair of fake snakeskin pants I already had from another used doll. I may make costume acurate black cargo pants in the future. As the character is behind a desk you only get to see his legs in the wedding finale. I figure the difference between the sort of black pants Stefon WOULD wear and the actual pants he DID wear are inconsequential because most of us are filling in that information in our minds.

The final touch being getting him a pair of boots. I am not ready to start making tiny shoes and boots. I just am not.

And now I have the doll who has everything.

craft, Doll, monster high, sewing, Uncategorized

Sally and the bumpy ride.

Oh. Oh. It’s just so hard to know where to start.

As an elementary school English teacher employed by a dispatch company in Japan, March always involves a dip in work and pay for me.

This year has been a whole ‘nother experience.

My contract year and the days I had to show up to school ended March 10th, although my actual classes ended in February 28 due to Covid19. A few days before the contract ended I learned that the company I work for had lost the contract for the city I worked in..and didn’t have any cities near me they could shift me into.

Next school year starts April 1st. Japan is still planning on it starting…but then again in Japan people are still going to cherry blossom parties and Prime Minister Abe is JUUUST starting to admit that maaaaaaaybe the Olympics won’t happen this year…but the Gov. of Tokyo wants to declare a lock down. It’s all complicated. I think Japan is in denial.

I’ve had the insanity of being an asthmatic social distancing myself when it feels like so few other in this country are people are… while also making sure I’m employed the next coming school year…even though I think that the school year maybe shouldn’t start.

All while trying to get more organized through the filter of knowing I have ADHD and need new skills, at a time my days and nights all blend together in mostly emptiness.

My family back home is taking precautions. I would often travel to see them this time of year but..well..I can’t do that during a job hunt and the end of the world. I worry about them. I really do.

In the last 48 hours I’ve turned down a job, thought I had another job, lost that job, applied for different jobs, and accepted a job offer from my previous company now that they’ve had an opening that’s…not near me but not worse than last year?

And there have been tears.

My friend Ebony works in a preschool. Her school isn’t public so she’s been at work this whole time. Things have been rough on her. We have texted dailyl

One thing I’ve been able to feel great about is that I finished a surprise gift for Ebony and sent it to her home..and she got it and cried.

This is what we do now, we cry. We all cry a lot because there’s just so much to be overwhelmed by.

This is what she opened:

I didn’t take enough in progress photos, sorry.

That’s a Frankie Stien Monster High doll as Sally from The Nightmare Before Christmas…but I think you knew that.

The process started before I had an airbrush so I had to sand and build up the color of the doll (Frankie is more light greenish blue than blue) with chalk pastels and layers of fixative. And then I had to pencil in her seams.

You can see the color difference clearing in this shot of the finished body and the head (uncolored) after I’d rooted it with brushed acrylic yarn.

But this time I had an airbrush to get the base color down for the face before painting.

With the dress, this was my first time using acrylic paints, thinned with a textile medium, to create the whole dress pattern.

I made a base dress from white cotton. Then I painted in the color patches. Once dried I used a permanent fine-line marker for details. Finally I over-stitched sections with black thread and added a stitched on patch for depth.

For all the turmoil…and stillness…the last few weeks have contained…I have brought some joy to someone.

I have also been making progress in organizing my projects, tasks, life and daily needs in a bullet journal….figuring that a system developed by a designer with ADHD might be a good fit for me, and so far it is.

Tonight, I get to rest. Knowing that I do have a job come April…I really do..so long as school is a thing. If school isn’t a thing for a while, I have a safety net.

There is much to worry about…but I’m getting out of bed everyday and doing…somethings. I hope you are too.

craft, Disney, Doll, Uncategorized

Unsticking Bubbles.

It was on Bubbles that my series languished. I’d chosen one of the two Auroa dolls I have. It’s not a face sculpt I much like. The eyes feel too large and wide apart but I thought it might work for Bubbles.

Alas, her hair parted on the side and I found no way that I could make her hairstyle work. I chopped off her hair and thought I’d make a wig….but I never did.

Last week, in surveying projects to finish up, I knew in my heart it was time to move on…and try making Cinderella into Bubbles instead.

When I first got Cinderalla she was sporting some facial stains that I finally bleached off with 10% Benxoyl Peroxide acne cream this summer.

I figured that she had a middle-part hair and would work…but it was difficult to really make out the full part because of how matted her hair was.

I conditioned and brushed and conditioned and brushed. At first I did so without gloves and then realized that if I’m going to increase doll work I’ll also need to increase protection to my skin and body. Gloved up.

It was only once it was fully dry that I realized the top part was great for pigtails….but the hair becomes too sparse in back to support that style.

I’m never going to fully reroot a Disney Animator doll again, that was a special hell, but her hair seems easy to match and I’m fine with just adding a part and longer bangs in front.

Which is how Bubbles came to get the back of her head removed so I can more easily glue and access skull bits without removing her head.

I’m not going to have time this week to get more hair, so I don’t expect to get any further on her until after the dance studio has it’s show. The rest of my night tonight is for cleaning and costume alterations.

Disney, Doll, Uncategorized

Build me up, Buttercup

When Powerpuff Girls hit big time in 1998 it made and impact on me and my female friends.

We were recently out of college or finishing up. You can’t tell me that we WEREN’T the key demographic…I know that we were in my heart and because by the time it was on video I worked at an independent video store and had seen the promotional goods and screeners and the info that went with them.

Kick-ass female cartoon characters were still few and far between. We had to make do with a single female ass-kicker in a group of men OR turn to Japanese Anime. Three powerful little girls? YES, PLEASE. Did we discuss the dynamics of which character we strongly identified with? YES.

I was Buttercup. It wasn’t up for debate. I didn’t have to argue for it. It was known.

Strong temper? Not a morning person? Blunt? Not the best impulse control? Somehow loved despite that?

Me in the late 90’s. SEE?

While I am now more of a Buttercup/Blossom hybrid, I didn’t see that shift coming. Shout-out to medications that help me be more level-headed and not ALL id.

Last year I completed Blossom and Buttercup’s faces and hair. I realized today that I’d not shown you that. Last I shared Ariel and Snow White were still detached heads, getting bangs and the start of the Blossoming.

And this is Blossom now:

Buttercup has also finished with her face-up,this is an in-progress shot to show the lip-scar. I figured she’d be the one most likely to have split a lip or sport bruises.

And her head returned to her body.

I’m a little nonplussed with the dresses I made. I think they need to be cuter with fuller skirts.

And that has left Bubbles…in the corner.

I’d picked an Aurora doll…but her hair part wasn’t right. I figured I’d make her a wig, but hand sewing a wig is something I haven’t found a great tutorial on. Progress has been spotty. The wig shown was a Mercari buy so I could harvest cheap wefts.

In the interest of tackling unfinished projects instead of starting new ones, I’ve decided to go another direction with her. Stay tuned.

craft, Doll, pullip, Uncategorized

This doll will have everything

More than a year ago, my friend Ebony sent me a LINE message from a Hobby-Off. It included a picture of a baggie doll.

It was a “Alfred” TaeYang. TaeYang is Pullip’s boyfriend…her second boyfriend actually because Namu was her first and wasn’t popular. Namu is no more. Goodnight Namu.

Of course, the TaeYang Ebony mailed me about was naked, in a baggie, with some sort of glitter-gel caked in his wig for about 3,000¥

So, of course, I was all:

I DOOOOOOOO!

And then he sat around until I realized who he needed to be…

I’m a Bill Hader fan girl. Stefon, I love. In an alternate universe John Mulaney and I are a power couple so I feel like Bill’s part of the family. The series Barry is bloody brilliant (but only NoHo Hank is really a viable doll). AND I appreciate that Bill Hader has been open about his issues with anxiety.

I’ve now spent a LOT of time googling him and studying his face…he’s hot. This is the hottest photo of him. I just needed to share this image. Take. It. All. In.

So, as usually I removed TaeYangs face with rubbing alcohol and fine sandpaper.

This time, because TaeYang is smooth and nearly nose-less and Bill is NOT, I had to start carving. More nose, smile lines, and after this…and this feels weird to say, opening up one eye slightly larger than the other because Bill Hader has a slight muscle issue in one eye so when he’s not actively making a face one eyelid hangs slightly lower.

And I began drawing in his face.

I feel like a creeper who is way too familiar with Bill Hader’s eyebrows.

I feel like a creeper a lot of the time, only partly because of the dolls. Recently Ebony and I split cheese sticks at a TGIFridays. Ebony and I both noticed how attractive our server was….but how I reacted was by telling Ebony “Her lips would look amazing on a doll. I couldn’t stop staring at them” and Ebony was more human in noting “She’s very attractive”

We later told the server she was pretty and I refrained from saying YOUR FACE WOULD LOOK GREAT ON A DOLL.

So, Stefon’s face is now mostly finished….although I’ll be smoothing those lip colors a bit later.

This has brought us to the stage I’m now on, building a wig.

I’ve only made one yarn wig thus far. Smaller and more conceptual.

TaeYang’s head is MUCH bigger than a Monster High doll so it’s slow going, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to find a perfect wig for Stefon.

Here is an in-process shot of it looking like the dude you liked 30 years ago and have just looked up on Facebook.

Trying on the wig midway to make sure I’m not crazy. With styling and some razor trimming this should eventually work…

And then will come the most absurd part of this process….

Tiny. Ed. Hardy. Shirt. for Stefon Zelesky. Yes, he has a last name.

Until then, New York’s hottest club is Wesh. Nine-year-old Tokyo pimp Ichiaku Guru is back with an all-new hot spot that answers the question What?!? This place has everything: trance, stilts, throw-up music, an albino that looks like Susan Powter, Teddy Graham people…

craft, Doll, pullip, Uncategorized

Flower Girl.

In late 2018 I picked up a damaged Pullip …as I do.

Her eye-mech was destroyed, she had no wink bars, and she had half of her original face paint. I detailed the damage and fixing up here.

Then she sat in a box until last December.

Inspired by Instagram makeup, I decided to go for both over-the-top make-up and to try an asymetrical design. Here I am including her in some after-gig glamour shots after I’d returned home from my last restaurant gigs of the season.

Here’s her final closeup before I rebodied her.

I knit her a top ( Pullip Off-the-shoulder free knitting Sweater pattern by Megan Nordyke) and sewed her a skirt (no pattern used for the skirt) and repainted some Barbie shoes (not shown).

This is why I went to Dollyteria for the wig lucky-bags…and scored!

I love her. Just love her.

A friend asked me if she”s supposed to be me. Not intentionally and my mom’s the one with green eyes.

craft, Doll, monster high, Uncategorized

Sakura

Welcome to my continued adventures in assuming I’d already shared something because I finished it a while ago but when I looked I’d never posted a final product.

Back story short:

I got a Monster High doll at Dollyterria in Ikebukuro. This was before my haul of MH dolls. This is the doll and I wrote about being inspired by cherry blossom season here. Click through if you want more info on how this started.

I then started using Apoxie Sculpt…and started sculpting all the things.

And then I never posted about it again, even though I finished it in May of 2019.

I painted and painted.

The doll’s previous hair looked sad when contrasted with her new body so, inspired by Dollightful’s Sakura Pink creation, I rerooted with fake hair and so much pink 100¥ shop yarn!

FACE! Now, a half a year later, there are things I’d change. I may go back in some time to add a pure black to the eyes…but I’m trying to present without insulting myself so that’s all I’ll say.

Before and After

My issue with the eyes wasn’t until I took these photos and few days ago, outside a small bar near me that has a lot of flowers….an old man came out, saw me, giggled, and said “nice photos?’

I’m sure I’ll find more items I have spaced on presenting.

I…I make a lot of stuff…not just dolls.

craft, Doll, monster high, Uncategorized

Bi-Little Pony, for Caty.

I wasn’t a pony girl.

My childhood room was not edged with realistic horse replicas nor did My Little Pony (the first 80’s round which was square aimed at girls my age) ping my interest. Nor did the new wave of My Little Pony Friendship is Magic capture my attention.

I’ve seen an episode, while obsesively brushing out tangled pony hair, at my friend’s house in Madison…because her son is a fan…but I didn’t go back to Japan and watch any more.

Then, at the end of 2018 a My Little Pony Equestria Girl Rainbow Dash 11 inch fashion doll came into my home via a box of random gifts.

Do I understand what is going on with this doll? No, I don’t.

I don’t know how the horses became horse/girls on two legs other than the fact that fashion dolls sell. Or maybe horse dolls got tired of carrying passengers (because that’s NOT the kinda pony My Little are) and decided “I AM THE ONE WHO RIDES. ”

Then came muse Caty. Last seen as a Byul.

Her instagram looks are a place I cruise when I’m looking for doll inspiration because she’s talented and ‘effing adorbs. She usually does a series of LGBTQ inspired looks for gay pride and that’s when I knew.

Bi-Little Pony.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. First there was the “reroot or fix up” question. Rainbow Dash has rainbow hair. Pride. Keep. Boil perm.

Boil perms are still hit or miss for me. Each one gets a little better…I hope.

Inspiration.

At this point I took Bi-Little Pony off my media posts. It’s common for my work in progress to vanish at times…but this time it wasn’t just my inability to focus.

Caty’s family suffered a terrible loss.

I wanted this doll to go to Caty as a small “Hey, people are thinking about you and you are loved” but I didn’t want her to have any hint of what I might be sending from Japan.

I knit a dress using crochet thread, size 0 needles and this on-line pattern. You drop a stitch on these and it’s nearly impossible to recover. Kinda hellish. That’s why I ended with a fluffy yarn skirt with leftover yarn from…oh, I never updated that project here so I guess I’ll do that next.

Then I finished the face, embellished the dress, found a tiny jacket in my stash and painted her boots.

And now Bi-Little Pony lives with Bi-MUA-Caty in America.

Doll, pullip, Uncategorized

Caty is a doll.

Today is one of those days where I realize how much I haven’t posted.

I sat down to type up a post about a finished project I named Bi-Little Pony. The project involves a person serving as an inspiration who I have Dolled before so I went back to find those posts and found…only one post. I’d never posted the final product.

In May of 2018 I’d recently returned to Japan from a trip to America with some Barbie Made-to-move bodies in my luggage. The curvier MTM body inspired me to buy a used Byul doll I’d seen with matching skin tone.

I had a model for the doll, my friend Caty. Caty is an amazing MUA on instagram. Go check her out NOW. Caty had done a look inspired by one of my dolls. I then decided to do a doll based on one of her looks.

I wrote upa whole post detailing how I put the Byul head on a MTM curvy body…but failed to follow up after that. The last time I featured her here she looked like this. She had a new body and a temporary outfit and wig but I hadn’t remade her face or found the right wig for her. There might be some more photos of her here and there in the blog, but if there are I haven’t properly tagged Byul.

So, what has happened to Caty Byul since?

New face! This was the midway point.

Then I got her a new wig at Mandarake (I usually buy used wigs but Caty was sporting a her own wig in a color I wasn’t likely to find used quickly) and new eye chips by BeBeBlythe on Etsy. It was getting closer but she was still sitting around in a random outfit.

I found a pattern for the Curvy Barbie Fasionistas by DGRequiem on Etsy and some suitably bright fabric. I swiped some insane stockings from my stash as well.

And, as a final tribute I made her a simple felt beret…seen here with an almost matching fuzzy backpack.

And that should catch me up on enough Caty-Inspired posts to start writing about..Bi-Little Pony

Do It Yourself: WFU

The dolls and art of a woman in Japan trying to be better.

Tag Archives: repaint

My hands and Edna

Today

Finished Project:

Simple, elegant, yet BOLD

This doll has EVERYTHING

Sally and the bumpy ride.

Unsticking Bubbles.

Build me up, Buttercup

This doll will have everything

Flower Girl.

Sakura

Bi-Little Pony, for Caty.

Caty is a doll.